The Meme Bandwagon

Since I'm third in line to do this meme-thingy (does that rhyme?), I find solace only in the fact that my new entry shows a shorter time gap between this and the last than that of Chris. He will, of course, find a way to accuse me of writing it at work (I didn't; I'm doing it to avoid paying bills).

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1. Flip to page 18, paragraph 4 - in the book closest to you right now, what does it say?

"Paul looked at his mother. She told the truth. He wanted to get away alone and think his experience through, but he knew he could not leave until he was dismissed. The old woman had gained a power over him. They spoke truth. His mother had undergone this test. There must be terrible purpose in it...the pain and fear had been terrible. He understood terrible purposes. They drove against all odds. They were their own necessity. Paul felt that he had been infected with terrible purpose. He did not know yet what that terrible purpose was."

~Dune, by Frank Herbert


2. If you stretch out your left arm as far as possible, what are you touching?

A pack of D batteries, a maglite flashlight, and a pacifier.

3. What's the last program you watched on TV?

Good Eats, with Alton Brown

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.

6:47 (damn...my rhythm is messed up...actually 5:55)

5. Aside from the computer, what can you hear right now?

The whirring of my computer, my new hd projector we use instead of a tv, and my wife's soap opera

6. When was the last time you were outside and what did you do?

I grilled some hamburgers and hotdogs about a week ago. Sat down after cleaning the house; was nice to sit in my outdoor chair on my patio, enjoy the fresh "just-showered" feel, experience the 2nd beer tenderize my neck and wash over my facial muscles, and smell my hamburgers smoking...the sunset wasn't bad, either.

7. What are you wearing?

Jeans, white Reebok socks (the footy kind), my favorite Lucky Charms tee, and a green Old Navy hoody that says "Alaska" on it.

8. Did you dream last night? If you did, what about?

I didn't dream. When I do, it's usually lucid--yes, I have changed many of my dreams because they weren't heading a very fun direction.

9. When was the last time you laughed?

Today. When I proposed in an analogy to my students that a particular kid could die any time, any where, that kid got a shocked look and asked, "What would you say if I really did die?? Wouldn't you feel bad?" I replied, "No...I'd test my powers on that kid," and pointed to one I give a lot of joking crap to, "and find it out if was just a fluke. Then, I go into private verbal assassin business."

10. What's on the walls, in the room you're in right now?

I have two Lord of the Rings authentic swords (Glamdring, Gandalf's sword, and Narsil, the unbroken version of the sword you see Sauron stomp on and break; Aragorn later wields it after Elrond has it reforged). I'm in my office and don't have a lot of other stuff.

11. Have you seen anything strange lately?

I saw two teenagers in the hall today and they weren't having violent orangutan butt sex with each other or yelling, "Where's my muthaf*ckin' n*gg*'s??"

12. What do you think about this meme?

I usually find them cheesy and I'm intimidated by the pressure I put on myself to stand up to Brian and Muddy's whit, sarcasm, and jaded, intellectual cynnicism.

13. What's the last film you saw?

Borat.

14. If you became a multimillionaire, what would you do with the money?

I'd open up a private school and hire away all the extraordinary teachers and administrators I know (yes, I can pay better than the state and I can match and better that retirement plan). I'd also buy a restaraunt (hell, Brian and Muddy, you can run my microbrewery attached to the place). I wouldn't run it or anything. I'd just enjoy owning it and eating there.

New house for me, my family members, maybe some friends. Open a few charities. Maybe even set my friend George Parks free from UMASS so he can just play drum major for the rest of his years.

15. Tell us something about yourself that most people don't know.

I wet the bed until I was 10. Also, at the age of 9, I got caught trying to watch scrambled porn on the downstairs tv. I never got caught again.

16. If you could change ONE THING in this world, without regarding politics or bad guilt, what would it be?

You said "make." Not sure I'd try to MAKE people do anything, since I really enjoy free will, but I'd want everyone to be nicer and more polite to each other. Hell...I know some fellow superstitionarians (Christians) that could use some lessons in tolerance and love (what the hell are you doing on Sunday mornings?)

17. Do you like dancing?

I've danced (outside of a few swing dance lessons I took when I dated a girl from Tech in college), exactly twice. Senior prom, when Brian and I danced with our English and Chem teachers (with whom I know work and call colleague) and at some lame-ass club in Miami when Tech went to the Carquest Bowl. After Becky Lee made fun of my dancing, and some strangers laughed and formed up a circle around me, I tucked tail and ran. Later that night, I got drunk off wine coolers I didn't pay for while watching Jarrel Pair critique the cinematographic qualities of some soft porn in the hotel room.

18. George Bush?

Didn't vote for him. I want to like him (as a character). I dig the way he says "Uh-mir-uh-kuh." I don't care what SNL says, he isn't stupid. Wrong, perhaps; stupid, no. I agree with Chris: veto something dammit! Time for him to go, interested to see the entertainment the next election charade provides.

19. What do you want your children's names to be, girl/boy?

Already have my Maggie Ryan. If a boy next, Wyatt David. If a girl next, Sophie Amanda.

20. Would you ever consider living abroad?

Totally. I guess. No, I can't say that for sure, since I've never been out of the country besides going on cruises and 2 days in drum corps venturing into Montreal. I think living in Switzerland, Austrailia, or Grand Cayman would be nice.


21. What do you want God to tell you, when you come to heaven?

What...you mean...I made it!!?!?!?

22. Who should do this meme?

Uhhh...no idea. But if you do do it and post to your blogspot, you are just a copying poser.

Syrian Terrorists Throw Like Girls

They really do.

“Witnesses also said the gunmen tried to throw hand grenades into the embassy compound, shouting "Allah Akbar!" or "God is great!" It was not clear if any of the grenades made it over the walls, which are about 8 feet high.”

I ROFL in real life at that. We’d better be kicking the Syrian Terrorist Olympic Basketball Team’s ass if they can’t put the brick in the hole from eight feet.

They sure do talk a lot about the Syrian police dept, and I’m glad to hear they’re doing their job. I wonder, though, if any Marines employed any firepower.

Big, Fat Duh

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060908/sc_nm/science_war_dc

I love when experts” tell us things that we already know. Someone who’s a real scientist—tell me. Is this really science (at least, necessary science)? Sure, we need to check our assumptions, myths, old-wives’ tales, and urban legends to see if what people believe is actually true…

…but don’t you think nearly ten thousand years of recorded history is evidence enough? Look at football, rugby, and wrestling (ignore golf, ping-pong, and bowling). Most men like to form teams headed by an Alpha Male and then go out to kick some ass.

It would be weak to point out that “Matt…you don’t see all the tough grrrrlz out there playing soccer now? Football? Field hockey? Girls are competitive, too!” Sure, there are competitive women. Men are simply more aggressive and ready to mob up and crack skulls than women are, generally.

Men tend to show power. Men are interested in power. Man either wants to build or tear down—both are symbols of ability, prowess, potency. Not that women don’t like to do these things, either…but women like to preserve, tend to, and secure things. Men establish, women maintain. Both have their qualities, both have their dangerous faults.

But Brian, I sure as hell hope that very little NSF money (from our pockets) went into this study to show us what we already know…

In other news, most men like beer, sex with women, and seeing midgets do funny things.

The Bottom Line

I teach literature to juniors in high school. I have been for five years. I have passion for what I do—I try to do it at a level of excellence that makes a difference in the lives of my kids. It’s not my job, it’s no my vocation—it’s what I do. It’s a bug I have. Writers have the writing bug (which I don’t have, I must sadly admit…sadly, because I would love to write novels for a living), so they write. Scientists have the science bug, so they break stuff open and see what’s happening. Politicians have the politics bug, so they lie.

I have the teaching bug. I teach. Ask my friends, my family…my wife. I can’t help but teach. The minute I realize that something needs explained or communicated, my brain shifts into fifth gear, thinking of how the information should be presented, depending upon the audience, the time allotted, and the materials.

This isn’t so much about how much I love teaching, however. This is about how much I hate the bottom line.

In standard, public education, the bottom line is not learning. I repeat: the bottom line is not learning. No, I understand—for many of you in my reading audience (gut-laugh…I said “many” and “my audience” in the same sentence) who may be teachers, I understand that in your classroom, student learning, comprehension, and independence are the bottom line. But in the world of standard, public education…erudios mundi (someone check my abysmal Latin; I never took a day of lessons)…the bottom line is the vast sum and average of test scores; numbers, if you will, are the bottom line.

I wish I could summarily dismiss evaluations by politicians of whether or not a student has learned something, but I can’t. Before you argue that politicians aren’t in control of judging student learning and teacher success, I direct your attention to the yearly parade of newspaper and network broadcasts of national SAT rankings. I direct your attention to the acronym “AYP.” I direct you to the catastrophic No Child Left Behind (hint: the brain-child of the two alcoholics in American politics, Ted Kennedy and Dubya).

To tackle how stupid, misguided, and intellectually debilitating it is to allow politicians to decide what is best for education and to judge whether teachers and students have succeeded would be unnecessary. It serves no purpose to say that retards shouldn’t play with sharpie scissors. It’s common sense. Plain, apparent logic.

I’ll boil it down to a classroom level—mine, to be exact. The bottom line evaluation, to me, that demonstrates whether a student has learned something or not, is the student’s demonstration of a targeted skill, unguided. The state requires me, along with the faceless education gods, that I assign a letter grade to this. I’m okay with assigning letter grades. It’s a benchmark for the student to understand how close or far away he is from attaining and mastering a skill. Nevertheless, that letter grade is not the bottom line.

The bottom line is the interaction between the student, myself, and his reaction to each evaluation. A research scientist never accepts the data from his first experiment as the final formulation of a reliable theory, yet students take standardized tests and whatever the score is, that becomes the indicator of success or failure, learning or not learning. For those of you educated in a public school, raise your hand if you ever read a book, talked about it, took one test, and then, regardless of your score on the test, never touched the book again in that course.

Wow…that many of you…

…it’s bad enough when a teacher’s bottom line of whether a student is learning becomes the grade in the grade book. To me, it’s worse when the student and parent assume it as their bottom line.

Bottom line of the tirade? Not for the first time, did I speak this morning with a dad regarding his child’s grade. Apparently, he “feels” that his son is putting forth his best effort and his grade doesn’t reflect that. I asked him if he’d seen his son’s work. He couldn’t recall the subject matter or skill level of anything he’d seen of his son’s writing or thought. I informed Dad that random-kid hadn’t come to see me for extra help, though the invitation has been made generally and individually (on the student’s last analysis journal). Nevertheless, Dad’s feeling demands that his son’s grade rise, based on effort.

Dad was crippled, early on, in his own educational experience. He must have learned that A or B means good and that anything less is bad and that all grades must be good and that no grades must be bad. Students have to be equally talented in all areas of study and that it unacceptable for a student to be less qualified in one subject than in any other. To Dad, success is not the process of learning, nor the demonstration of skill mastery. It’s only the attempt. If you try hard, are nice, good-looking, show some pluck, and cry just enough, that should earn you an A. Sorry. That gets you an A in Hollywood, but not in law, medicine, or in my classroom. It doesn’t make the hamburger cooked. It doesn’t build the road securely. It doesn’t defend the homeland from outside dangers. It doesn’t put out the fires.

Sure, grades have a purpose. However, A does not mean good and F does not mean bad. A means, you have demonstrated attainment of a skill and should move on to the next, more rigorous level of study. F means that you have attained no demonstrable success in the skill—none that is satisfactory on any acceptable, average level—and should not continue on in the course work until you have shown acceptable skill…not as punishment, not as a personal judgment on your intrinsic value…but for your own good as a student. It would be a disservice to you on my part if I found you to be utterly lacking in skill and yet still passed you on to subject matter you have no hope of mastering.

Regardless, Dad thinks that a C (which means, “Hey…any average person out there matches you in skill here. Move on if you like, but the going only gets tougher from here. Be ready”) is bad and that his son shouldn’t have to be responsible for revising his journal for a remediated grade.

Do you believe that? Dad is upset that I’m giving his son another shot at learning, or at least demonstrating learning, for a changed (and hopefully better) grade! Dad wants the book closed at level B, regardless of whether his kid has learned anything very well. He views the extra chance only as extra work, not as the next step in education. Dad wishes to shut out reality and shape his son, and the world around him, according to what he’d like, rather than what is. He further reinforces his son’s attitude of entitlement by fighting for an unearned grade.

I can’t tell you how much damage this does to the philosophy I want my students to assume:

Destroy your desire for a high grade. It is a great thing to have, an A, but it does you no good in the real world. The people you really wish to impress, the people you want to work with, the people who will write your check (or patronize your business) will never care if you got an A in English in high school. What they care about is what I care about. Your attitude. Destroy your desire for a high grade. Though a great thing, it becomes the very chain to your learning mind that drowns.

Strive for personal excellence. Desire to be the smartest, hardest working person you can be. Educate yourself as much as you can. Learn anything and everything. Do it not for the grade, but for yourself. I have friends who make great beer—they don’t do it for a grade, they do it for love, passion, fun. They do it for no other reason than that they desire to learn to make and enjoy the best beer they can. People who aim for a particular pay scale or grade find themselves at a glass ceiling, they “plateau.” Once their goal is achieved, they lose motivation, they realize that the journey they embarked on in life was pointless, beyond the destination they’ve reached.

Tiger Woods’ goal is never a trophy or money. With his talent, and more importantly desire and work ethic, the trophies and money take care of themselves. Same with Michael Jordan. Same with any great musician or author. Same with the guy who lacks talent in golf. If he seeks to become the best he can, to enjoy the experience of learning the game for its intrinsic worth and weight, trophies or money (or lack thereof) will ever disappoint him. Those aren’t what he’s after. He’ll find that, trophy or not, every time he ventures onto the links, new revelations and enjoyment will manifest themselves. Would he like a trophy, money, recognition? Sure. But if they were his only goal, once gotten, golf would lose it’s purpose in his life.

The exact same is true for education. Once gotten, if valedictorian, class presidency, or a particular is a student’s measure of success, their experience and time in high school loses its weight and heft. He loses himself in college, not understanding why their professors don’t give a damn about their valedictory accomplishments in high school. It’s where the mid-life crisis comes from.

Parents, the government, MTV, the pastor, peer-comparison…they all place false expectations and faulty evaluations on what success is. The bottom line isn’t a grade, it certainly isn’t wealth, and you’re not going to have it handed to you just because you feel it should be.

I wish there was a way to teach and instead of having report cards be the standard of success, have employers come in and interview and test for hiring. The student chooses the employment tests and interviews they’d like to engage in. I teach students who care about learning, care about personal success, care about being the best they can be…and if that means a C in English, then so be it. They’re going to be an architect anyways. However, the processes they used in learning English are the processes they’ll use to learn in architecture, an area in which they have real talent and will definitely master skill.

...the use of force.

I'm going to say that I'm admittedly underinformed about the Middle East.

That said, in regards to the current escalation between Hezbollah and Israel, I have to say, "F**k you up some Hezbollah, dude."

I'm sure, since they're humans, that not every Israeli soldier is a saint and solely protecting his sovereign nation with fairness, patience, and precise discrimination. I also know that an impoverished populace of Arabs that have been raised to religiously and culturally desire the destruction of the Zionist race/culture/religion have a large chip on their shoulder. Couple that with the fact that more and more Muslims feel persecuted for the nervous glances they all get from people (or the sanctions and pressure being placed on their countries by the world). You get some pissed-off Hezbollahns [yes, I made that up].

Simple story I'm getting from the news: Hezbollah hates Israel. Hezbollah fires rockets across the Lebonese border into Israeli cities. They kidnap Israeli soldiers. There has been no formal, official, or clear statement of war between Lebanon and Israel, yet members of Hezbollah, which holds official posts in the Lebonese government, have kidnapped Israeli soldiers.

Result? Israel doesn't go to the UN (which hates Israel anyhow), like the Japanese, begging for some resolution. Israel acts like a sovereign nation and goes hunting the bastards.

I'd definitely like to see surgically precise strikes on Hezbollahn targets that don't kill civilians, but it happens. Not to say that it's not sad when a civilian dies, but it does happen. Factor in that I find it extremely plausible that Lebanon and Hezbollah both end up claiming some of those casualties as civilian when they were actually unidentified Hezbollahns [I kind of like my made-up word].

Regardless, consider if the Green Party (do they hold any position in the government? Let's pretend like the they hold a seat or two in both houses) in America decided that the Mexican government were evil (not too far off base) and officially announced that its purpose, along with making everyone wear hemp clothing and drinking soy milk, was the obliteration of the Mexican people. Then the Green Party dons its masks (though the disguise isn't successful at all...you can always tell the Green Party folks...the hairy pits on the females, the wimpy lack-of-chin males, and the screeching voices)and fires rockets into some Mexican towns...

[NOTE: I bet Mexico would be a little better off with some spring cleaning using some rockets...]

Then, they kidnap some Mexican soldiers (luring them with the opportunity to work at a local golf course and all the Corona they can drink).

I'm fairly sure the entire damned world would scream...freaking shriek...for America to reign in the Green Party and clean up its own house. Mexico would threaten with violence.

Guess what! I'd like to think the U.S. would beat the hell out of whoever did this and get those soldiers back to Mexico. Hell...those soldiers would probably end up with EZ dual-citizenship, free houses here, and a gigantic ass-kissing party thrown in honor of Vincente Fox.

If it didn't happen, there'd be hell to pay and I'd have a hard time blaming Mexico if it crossed the border, acting like a sovereign nation--treating another sovereign nation the way it should be treated when a sovereign nation doesn't do shit about what members of its own government are doing to other sovereign nations.

I know, I know...I'd be mad too, if Mexico starting bombing our airports and blockading us (snicker), but they're specifically not like Israel in this analogy because they're not surrounded by nations with the same culture that shares a goal--we want all of you to die so we can take your land. So, no...I wouldn't think it's right for Mexico to go bombing our airports--but in Israel's situation, I think they pretty much have to win their battles by convincing all the others that they're more dedicated to winning that the other side.

Get your soldiers back, Israel. If you can, blow the hell out of any Hezbollah-type targets you can. Do your very best to leave Lebanese civilians alone. Pressure the hell out of Lebanon to crack down, too.

Hezbollah...throw down your weapons, turn yourself in to the Lebonese government, hand over the soldiers...and the crap storm can stop. That simple.

I now await your more balanced thoughts, comments, and "helpfulness."

Superman Returns...and no one but the toy stores and Superman fans cares much

Let's get to this, shall we? (ignoring the fact that I post roughly 1.2 times per 5 months now and that no one is reading this...)

Casting: Brandon Routh and Kevin Spacey were the best choices for sure. Routh was given appropriately "Superman" things to do and say in the movie and he did spectacularly. Spacey did amazingly well, given the overall poor dialogue and mostly pointless scheme he was given to act out. Bosworth is hot and I'd hit it, but the spunky Lois Lane she is not.

They avoided sappy cliche a few times (they did fall into the trap, though...with the already been done Lois and Supes flying scene), even overtly letting us think they would drop to the level of overly sentimental (i.e. the Sleeping Beauty scene), but turn away just at the last moment...which to me, came off as a game of homosexual chicken--whoever turns away last wins, but both feel pretty awkward and the winner really shouldn't brag.

Special effects were special effects. These days, the effects can be made so amazing that most top budget films posess action and settings and even magical effect that are indistinguishable from real life. I was thankful that the flying was well done and eons above what was created in movies like "The Matrix: Revolutions."

It was a decent (but not really teh awesome) script and I find no problem with a story that teaches or role models values like hope, truthfulness, perseverence, justice, or even, yes, the American Way. We don't get enough movies these days in which a powerful person doesn't just wallow in their inner conflicted demons. I like Batman for the whole "we're all one step away from being the bad guy" thing...I like Superman for a different reason.

Superman is what we all are supposed to want to be; powerful and good, despite the corruptiveness of that power. Who else could afford to lie, steal, destroy, and even use X-ray vision for naughty purposes and get away with it? But he doesn't. He's always on his best behavior. It makes him a little naive and a little stupid sometimes--"Didn't your father ever tell you to look before you leap?" But then again, if he questioned, tested, and distrusted everything around him, he'd be more cynnical and skeptical--more like Batman. This quality in Superman creates a breeding ground for stupid plot elements that end up making Superman look like a dupe, but then again, most good natured, innocent, open, and helpful people seem to us like well-meaning dolts. Nevertheless, it's the dolt that saves the day in this movie.

What's more, because Superman is what we should want to be, ethically, the comics (and the movies) make us try to be him, too. This movie showed us something I especially liked--the effect Superman has on weakling humans to attempt and even accomplish super-human things because it's the right thing to do. I hope others enjoyed the analogy the scriptwriters tried develop between Superman and Richard. They are both men of action, both good guys, both love Lois, both fly, both love Lois' son, and both are brave. The Superman and the Just-a-man. I loved it.

Still, I have to say that the overall effect of the movie leaves me underwhelmed. That is, for me, the one inexcusable flaw of the movie: I wasn't overwhelmed. The trailer was great. When I hear "Krypton" in the background and get shots of a raven-haired, skinny kid in blue jeans leap out of a corn field with a neat sun-beam filter effect, I get all jittery and want to don my bed-sheet cape. Too bad the guy that made the trailer wasn't involved in the actual movie itself.

Not all acting was brilliant, the plot developed far too slowly, the nefarious scheme Luthor hatched did not seem immediately dangerous enough to me for me to care a lot about the "billions of people that will die," and the editing seemed soft, too (see opening credits and the final shots of the film with Superman in space...the music and the shots didn't match up as dramatically as they should have...moments of greatness were Superman's fall from space, the not-quite-crash-landing in the baseball stadium, and the several "iconic photo-ops").

I give it a B...good enough...for me...to poop on. I'm a little sad that I wasn't blown away by the movie, but then again, my anticipation for greatness was high.

It is time...

...to update.

First, let me say, there's been an addition to my World of Mattcraft Guild. We have a new member--her name is Maggie. If this is news to you, then I must have left you off the email list. My apologies. I didn't care enough to contact you. Don't feel like it's a reflection upon my estimation of you, so much as a distinct, objective lacking in your existential worthiness (translation: I forgot you existed. Oops!).

Here's the rugrat!


It's pretty damned amazing to realize how much I love someone that barely has a personality. So far, her defining habits and personality traits include crying, sleeping, crying more, smiling when she craps her diaper, and then crying that her diaper is full of pure evil.

She dropped in on April 9, so it's been not quite 7 weeks...and no, I'm not going to be one of those parents that measures his kid's age in months past a year. When she's one, she's 1--not seventeen months.

It's cool and daunting being a father, but at least I got that pesky little genetic urge to spread my seed officially taken care of. The rest of 'em are for fun!

My, my!

It's been a while since the two of you that read this blog have seen me post.

Sad to say that all I'm doing is dropping another one of those stupid ytmnd posts on the page.

Also...quick shout out to Brian and Marsha Hawkins--newly married and hopefully happy. Cheers! A beautiful wedding; I had a blast; it was an honor to be there with you on your day.